At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
