Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
