didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
