porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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