no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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