the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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