Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
