it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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