in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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