Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
