seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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