I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
