Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
