shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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