just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
