I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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