The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
