yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im holly from the hills drunk
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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