There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
