K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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