ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We got so high we made milksteak
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
