Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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