i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
