I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
