we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
