We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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