apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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