you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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