so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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