bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
