You're so nebulous sometimes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
