oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
