so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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