well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
