Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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