she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
