I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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