nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
