thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
