Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
