it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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