My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
