cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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