There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
