Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
