We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
