So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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