somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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