The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
