Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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